Anchor Partner – often used in non-hierarchical polyamory to refer to a person who you have a highly enmeshed relationship with; anchor partners provide high levels of emotional support and act as a central figure in one’s life

Boundaries – limits you put in place for your own well being; they help you to determine what you’re comfortable with (for a more in-depth look at how boundaries differ from rules, check out Rules vs Boundaries)

Comet – in polyamory – a romantic partner who isn’t seen regularly but comes into one’s life every once in a while. Still a partner and relationship one values; but due to other forces (distance, availability, etc) time spent together is infrequent but is picked up instantly each meeting as though no time has passed

Compersion – the feeling of joy felt from seeing one’s partner happy with/because of another partner

Consensual Non Monogamy (CNM) – another term for ENM; see ENM

Couple Privilege – the advantage over others that an established couple has – can present itself in the form of vetos and rules, or be less pronounced; it also exists for any couple that appears mononormative to the public; because the “main” relationship is out to the public, and many polyamorous relationships are not, this can create a type of couple privilege

Don’t Ask Don’t Tell Relationship (DADT) – an ENM relationship in which two people consent to seeing others outside of their relationship but don’t want to know any details about who, when, or what is occurring; sometimes considered a very extreme version of parallel polyamory

Ethical Non Monogamy (ENM) – the practice of taking part in multiple relationships (either romantic, sexual, or both) at the same time with all parties aware and consenting; umbrella term that captures polyamory, open relationships, swinging, etc

Friend with Benefits – a sexual partner one has a friendship with, but not a romantic relationship

Fluid Bonding – choosing not to use barriers for penetrative sex

Hierarchical Polyamory – a polyamory structure in which people prioritize certain partners over others; often seen where one partner has a primary partner and ranks others as secondary or tertiary. In this set-up; primary partners may have more rights than lower ranked partners

Hinge – a term for the individual in a vee relationship who is dating two individuals who aren’t dating each other

Jealousy – a normal human emotion like happiness or sadness, that can arise in various situations; it may present some situations and not others, causing negative feelings towards what someone else has (for a more in-depth look at jealousy, check out Tackling Jealousy in Relationships)

Kitchen Table Polyamory (KTP) – a type of polyamory in which all partners within a single network are comfortable with each other whether they’re in a romantically involved with someone or not; the idea comes from the idea that everyone would be comfortable around one table for a meal (Example: NP being friends with and/or is comfortable being around my other partners (his metamours))

Metamour – partner(s) of your partner

Monogamy – the practice of being in one romantic and sexual relationship at a time

Monogamish – initially coined by Dan Savage, this describes a couple who leans towards monogamy but will occasionally allow non-monogamous interactions

Mononormative – the belief that romantic and sexual relationships can only occur between two monogamous partners

Mono-poly Relationship – a relationship in which one partner is monogamous and only has a single partner, but the other partner is polyamorous and may have other partners at the same time

Nesting Partner (NP) – partner who lives with you. May be a spouse, may or may not be a primary; often used to replace the term “primary” in non-hierarchical polyamory; NP is also the nickname I’ve given to my nesting partner when referencing to him in posts

New Relationship Energy (NRE) – the excitement that comes with the early stages of a new relationship which usually involves heightened romantic and sexual attachment; can last several months to one year; sometimes referred to as the honeymoon period

Non-Hierarchical Polyamory – strives to give all partners the same privileges and relationship rights regardless of living situation/longevity. No one has power over anyone else’s relationship within the network

One Penis Policy (OPP) – mandate that a female can have other partners as long as they are women; most often imposed by the female’s existing cis-male partner; not only does this invalidate trans-males; it functions on the belief that homosexual sex between women is not valid or threatening to the existing hetero relationship and therefore is “allowed”

Open Relationship – a type of ENM in which individuals have more than one sexual relationship at a time. Different from polyamory in that love/romantic feelings usually aren’t involved

Parallel Polyamory – a type of polyamory in which partners within a single network have separate relationships, without the desire to interact with their metamours (Example: NP’s girlfriend knows I exist but isn’t interested in meeting/becoming friends with me)

Partner – a person with whom someone has a relationship

Play Partner – a sexual partner with no emotional or romantic connection

Primary Partner – used in hierarchical structured polyamory to denote one’s “main” partner. Primary partners may have more rights than lower ranked partners (often designated secondary or tertiary).

Polyamory – “poly” – many; “amor” – love; a type of ENM in which an individual is capable of loving more than one person and having more than one romantic relationship. Polyamorous relationships may or may not be sexual in nature

Polycule – all members of the network of a polyamorous relationship including one’s partners and metamours

Polyfidelitous Relationship (PolyFi) – polyamorous individuals in a relationship who have consensually decided not to see others outside of the existing relationship network; sometimes referred to as a closed polycule

Poly–Saturated – a self-appointed term for someone who feels they are maxed out with their current quantity of partners. This poly-saturation limit varies for each person based on the amount of time and energy they have available to devote to relationships. Someone who is poly-saturated won’t be open to adding additional partners.

Safecall: a safety measure used commonly used in the BDSM community, this is an arrangement put in place when meeting new partners with whom trust has not yet been established; an individual will tell another partner or friend details about where, when, and who they are meeting and also agree to check in at specific times throughout the meeting to ensure that the individual is safe; if agreed check-ins are missed, predetermined safety measures should be taken

Solo Polyamory – when an individual is polyamorous and may have multiple relationships, but lives an independent lifestyle, not desiring to combine finances or share a living space

Sugar Relationship – a relationship in which one partner provides significant financial contributions to the other throughout the course of the relationship; can be strictly sexual or include a romantic relationship as well

Swinging – a type of ENM in which couples have sexual relationships with other couples; typically described as occurring when couple A-B swaps partners with couple C-D either in the same room or different rooms; can involve more than two couples, and can entail more than just single partner swapping (can also occur between a couple and a unicorn)

Triad – a polyamorous relationship between three people in which all parties are in relationships with each other; also referred to as a throuple (Example: a relationship between A, B, and C where A is dating B and C, B is dating A and C, and C is dating A and B)

Unicorn – a bisexual individual (most typically female) who seeks relationships with both parts of an existing couple; terminology used in both triads and swinging

Unicorn Hunting – occurs when an existing couple (most often a heterosexual couple, but can also be a homosexual female couple) seeks a bisexual cis-female to have a sexual (and occasionally romantic) relationship with both members of the couple; different from a triad, the added third typically has no relationship rights and is only viewed as a plaything; frequently occurs as a bait and switch, in which one member of the couple forms a prospective relationship with the third but then mandates that she must also date the other member of the couple

Vee Relationship – a relationship between one person (a hinge) and two others who are not in a relationship with each other (Example: a relationship between A and B, and A and C; B and C are not in a relationship with each other but are metamours)