One year ago, I got a call from my doctor letting me know I was positive for HPV.

I can remember that call last year it like it was yesterday. I felt scared and panicked. I felt ashamed and disgusted. Perhaps the biggest emotion – I. Felt. Alone.

When my doctor called, she said “your pap results came back HPV positive” and that was that. I didn’t know which strain(s) I was positive with, I didn’t know what grade abnormality I had, I didn’t even know that any of that would have been pertinent information. I assumed that all HPV positive results meant the same thing.

Now, having done all of the research I have in the past year, I was much more prepared for the phone call I got this morning.

Today I got a call from my doctor letting me know I was still positive for HPV.

Today, when I answered the phone from my doctors office telling me that pap results came back HPV positive, I had none of the emotional reactions I had last time. The nurse on the phone launched into her rehearsed HPV speech about how “this isn’t a big deal, most sexually active adults will have HPV at one point or another, etc. etc.” This year, I was prepared with the right questions: was it positive for strains 16, 18, or 45; and what grade of abnormality was it? The nurse seemed shocked that I was so on top of it, she let me know it was negative for 16/18/45, and that it was LSIL (low grade abnormalities).

This told me that it was the exact same result I got last year; that things hadn’t worsened in a year – which was super comforting.

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So…..

Am I worried because it hasn’t gone away in a year?

Nope, according to the CDC website on HPV, the abnormalities I had “typically go away in 2 years”. It’s only been one.

Am I bummed that I don’t have some super-human cervix that can repair all its cell abnormalities in a year’s time?

A little

Am I excited that I have to go get my cervix biopsied again?

I mean…not particularly, but then again yes because at least the biopsy will let me know whether my doctor thinks the cells will repair themselves on their own, or if we should just remove the little troublemakers.

Why am I posting all of this?

Because statistically speaking, several of you reading this will have or have had HPV at some point. I want to be as open as I can about my HPV journey so that others who may be going through this know what they can expect.

Why am I being so open about having an STI?

Because having an STI is not something to be ashamed of. It’s not dirty. It’s not disgusting. It doesn’t mean I was careless or unsafe. Because there is still an alarming rate of individuals who experience depression, suicidal ideation, and attempted suicide after receiving a positive STI diagnosis. ¹

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For anyone who may have missed it the first time around, be sure to check out my original post on HPV: Destigmatizing HPV

My colpo & biopsy are scheduled for next month, in the meantime, I’m going to snuggle my super adorable HPV plushie and give my cervical cells a daily pep talk.

References:

1. Mandriota, M. (2022, March 7). Coping with a Positive STI Diagnosis: 9 Helpful Tips. Psych Central. Retrieved June 3, 2022, from https://psychcentral.com/health/tips-for-coping-with-positive-sti-diagnosis#Remember-that-youre-not-alone ↩