I've experienced a lot of curiosity of how I'm able to practice non-hierarchical polyamory as a married individual. Just so we're all on the same page, let me start with a few brief definitions. To break it down, there are two main types of ways that coupled individuals structure polyamory: Non-Hierarchical Polyamory – strives to give … Continue reading Non-Hierarchical Polyamory as a Married Woman
HPV Plushie and New Posts Coming Soon!
Okay, I'm working on a handful of new posts to be released soon but in the meantime..... LOOK AT MY NEW HPV PLUSHIE!!! I've been in love with GiantMicrobes.com since a friend of mine had a giant, huggable herpes molecule back in undergrad. I really wanted the giant, huggable HPV but alas - they're sold … Continue reading HPV Plushie and New Posts Coming Soon!
New Relationship Energy
You met someone new! Maybe you're in the early stages of a new relationship, or maybe you're just starting initial conversations with a potential new partner. Everytime your phone buzzes you feel giddy when you see their name. It seems as though you simply can't get enough. How could it be that you have such … Continue reading New Relationship Energy
A Polyamorous Valentine
Love is in the air, especially so for polyamorous folks who may have multiple partners. While to some, Valentine's Day is just another Hallmark holiday people spend too much money on, I personally love it. Being polyamorous, I love love, and I love being able to share that with multiple partners. To me, Valentine's Day … Continue reading A Polyamorous Valentine
Destigmatizing HPV
In 2006, I was 15 in the semester-long health class mandated by my public high school. Most of what I remember learning about STIs was "STIs are bad - don't get them - use condoms". I really don't remember learning much about HPV specifically at all. Now as a non-monogamous woman in her early 30s, … Continue reading Destigmatizing HPV
Tackling Jealousy in Relationships
When I talk to people about being non-monogamous, the most frequent question I get asked is: Don't you get jealous?! My answer to that question is, yes - of course, what human doesn't experience jealousy? “People ask the million-dollar question about non-monogamy of, "How do you handle jealousy? What do you do about jealousy?" These … Continue reading Tackling Jealousy in Relationships
My Favorite Resources
… the person I was chatting with lamented that it was hard to navigate all the internet advice out there. Suddenly I was brought back to my early ENM days, sifting through videos, articles, and blogs, and I remember having a difficult time myself. If I had a hard time discerning what was biased and what wasn't - and I'm a trained research professional - then I can only imagine how hard it may be for others. While I hope this blog can serve as a resource in itself, I am not an expert on polyamory by any means. All I know are the experiences I've had. That being said, I'd like to share my favorite resources that I've come to trust over the years. The following resources have been pivotal in my journey through ENM.
Heart to Heart – Polyamorous Heartbreak
Sometimes - good relationships come to an end. Prior to this breakup - I had the belief that relationships only ended if things were notably not working. For both of us, this relationship worked for us for a long time, and although nothing inherently changed, there came a time where this chapter needed to close. While it was still meeting my needs and working for me, it was no longer working for my partner. And as hard and as sad as it is to see things come to an end - relationships ending are okay. Growing up in a mononormative society - I had the belief that for a relationship to be successful, it needed to last forever. Being polyamorous - I'm starting to learn that a) it's physically impossible for all relationships to last forever, and b) just because a relationship doesn't last forever doesn't mean it wasn't a successful relationship.
Rules Vs Boundaries
I once heard a metaphor that compared relationship "rules" to a band-aid. There's something that gives you negative feelings, and instead of getting to the root cause of why the negative feelings are happening, a rule is created in an attempt to block those feelings from surfacing.
Ethical Non Monogamy Glossary
A quick-reference guide for all ENM terms
The Polyamorous Millennial 